


The Twelve Days of Christmas

by Ylinestra (FlareLunari)



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Christmas, Fluff, M/M, Sappy, Sort of AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-11-27
Updated: 2013-02-21
Packaged: 2017-11-19 16:41:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 18,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/575391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlareLunari/pseuds/Ylinestra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry is tired of hiding his feelings for Louis. Of course he knows the risks that could come with a confession of the truth, but he can’t keep pretending that they’re just best friends anymore. The only one who knows about his true feelings is Niall who helps Harry think of a plan to capture Louis’ heart – without telling him who his secret admirer is.</p><p>Louis is enchanted by the thoughtful presents he receives every day and desperately wants to know who leaves them on his doorstep. There is a certain someone who occupies a special place in his heart, but there is no way it could be his best friend - that's what he thinks at least.</p><p>Niall believes that Harry and Louis could not be more obvious if they tried, so of course he agrees to help Harry right away. A little fun never hurt anyone, right? So he is an Irishman on a mission.</p><p>Much mischief and embarrassment ensues, especially when Zayn and Liam get involved. In the end, will everyone get what their heart desires?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this is the prologue to my first chaptered story. I really hope you guys like it and don't get squashed by all the fluffiness ;)
> 
> I'll try to update as often as possible and of course I'd love some kind of feedback if you even want me to continue this. ♥

_London, December 12th_

Harry had just finished his last interview before the big Christmas break and it was very rare for One Direction to have that much time off, so they were all looking forward to spending some quality time with their loved ones. He hadn’t seen his mom, Robin and Gemma in weeks and missed them dearly. Simple phone calls or short video conversations on Skype just weren’t the same and since it would be Christmas soon Harry would actually see his extended family as well, but he wasn’t as happy about all that as he should probably be – and the reason for that was a certain other band member named Louis.

His best friend and partner in crime, his confidante and the person he was totally and utterly in love with. Which Harry couldn’t do a damn thing about. Of course he could tell Louis, but their close friendship was way more important to him than anything else that could happen between them and Harry was not going to risk that. Even if it meant that he had to suffer in silence – more or less. Sadly he wasn’t as subtle about his feelings as he would like to be and others had noticed. To be more specific – the other three fifths of One Direction had noticed.

His only comfort was Louis still being happily oblivious to it all. Whenever they could, Niall, Zayn and Liam would tease them about the whole Larry Stylinson business and while Harry got really flustered, Louis just laughed it off. And that hurt more than it should. He was so tired of keeping it all in and not talking to Louis about his feelings, but Harry just wouldn’t be able to deal with the probable rejection. 

So no, he wasn’t as happy about the break and family time as he should be. Because Louis wouldn’t be there. Any time they had to spend apart was even worse than seeing him every day and not being able to touch Louis the way he would like to. Of course Doncaster was only a few hours away from Holmes Chapel and they would still be spending time in London before going home on Christmas Eve, but Harry dreaded the moment where he had to say goodbye.

With a sigh he fixed his fringe and sat down on a couch in the corner of the room. Louis wasn’t finished with his interview yet, so Harry could watch him without being noticed. Noticed by Louis, that is. Niall settled down next to him and gave Harry a lopsided grin, wiggling his eyebrows. When Harry didn’t respond though, his expression changed to a serious one.

“What’s wrong?”

Harry shrugged noncommittally and continued to watch his best friend, who had a big smile on his face. The interviewer batted her eyelashes at him and Harry just wanted to vomit. His expression must have been extra sour, because Niall had to stifle his laughter.

“Seriously mate, maybe you should just tell him, eh?”

Of course he did have a point there and Harry knew his pining was getting increasingly idiotic, but he couldn’t. It was too risky. Why Niall didn’t understand his reasoning was beyond him, but maybe he just didn’t want to understand.

“No.”

With a frustrated sigh Niall threw his hands in the air and then poked Harry in the side.

“Blimey Harry, you’re both so fucking stupid.”

Harry had no idea what his friend was talking about. He could understand that Niall called him stupid for keeping his feelings a secret – but why Louis, too? Was he implying that...? No, better not go there.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Niall snorted again and smirked cheekily at Harry, which confused him even more.

“Yeah, I bet you don’t...”

He was pretty much done with Niall ridiculing him by now, because it didn’t do a thing to improve his mood – quite the contrary. Thank God he had already finished his interview before his mood got too bad and someone from the radio station they were at noticed.

“You’re not helping – at all. Don’t you have any better ideas?”

Niall actually seemed to seriously consider that one, but Harry didn’t expect him to give an even remotely helpful response. So he was quite surprised when the blonde did just that.

“Look, why don’t you like... do some of this secret admirer stuff? Give him gifts anonymously and put in some clues? Hell, I don’t know…”

He kind of liked the idea. Louis wouldn’t know who he was – at least at first – and Harry could give him little gifts to show him that he was loved and appreciated and that there was someone out there who really cared for him as a person. Behind his cheerful façade Louis was always pretty insecure about himself, so Harry would actually love to do this. But to reveal his identity in the process... He just didn’t know if that was such a good idea.

“That’s actually not bad. Do you think he would like that?”

The Irish lad’s expression seemed to convey a silent ‘Are you stupid?’ and Harry already knew what he was probably going to say.

“He’ll fucking love it, Harry. And you’re his best friend, aren’t ya? So you should know that better than me.”

With a nod he ruffled his curls again and thought about a way he could actually do what Niall had suggested. Of course he knew himself that Louis would love it, but he had just needed the reassurance from someone else. 

Louis’ interview had finished by now and he came over to them, sitting down in Harry’s lap instead of the other couch that was still free. His hand found one of Harry’s and he smiled a little. This was a common occurrence between the two of them and he didn’t think anything of it. They had always been pretty touchy-feely with each other – so why change that?

“Tired?”, Harry asked quietly and Louis nodded.

“Yeah, about ready to go home now...”

He caressed Louis’ back in small circles, not even really aware of what he was doing. Harry reveled in the closeness to his best friend, even though it was torture at the same time. A moment later Zayn and Liam finally joined them in their corner and Niall told Paul they were ready to leave. They were in a pretty good mood and Liam was quietly humming a song under his breath. Zayn joined in with the lyrics, patting Liam’s knee with a smile.

“On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...”

That was when it hit Harry. The perfect idea.


	2. Day 01: Louis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much for the Kudos and to Peaches for the comment! I hope you enjoy :)

_**“On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me a partridge in a pear tree.”** _

 

_London, December 13th_

Even though he had planned to sleep in, Louis was up early. He had woken up at 8am, because he was just too used to it. Turning on his other side and closing his eyes again didn’t work, so after a while he had just given up to try and fall asleep again. His hair was in disarray and Louis yawned widely while he shuffled into the kitchen. Harry was already up and hummed along to the radio while he prepared breakfast. Louis grinned sleepily and hugged his best friend from behind, slipping his cold hands under Harry’s jumper and making him twitch from the cold.

“Morning Lou.”

His voice still sounded more gravelly than usual and a shiver ran down Louis’ spine. He loved Harry’s voice and never got tired of listening to his best friend talk in that slow way of his. He nuzzled his face into Harry’s back and inhaled his scent deeply, before finally letting him go again and sitting down at the kitchen table. Of course they were really close, but there was a line one didn’t cross as friends, even though Louis really wanted to not only cross it, but leap over it. 

He was glad for his ability to act, or Harry would have found him out ages ago. Their friendship was so close and comfortable that he didn’t want to make things awkward because of his feelings. Unrequited love was never easy, but there were more important things. He’d rather be Harry’s friend for all eternity than losing him due to a love confession he was dying to make. So Louis didn’t.

When Harry set down a plate of toast, bacon and eggs in front of him Louis was startled out of his thoughts and automatically smiled at his best friend, before he picked up his forked to dig in. He loved that Harry took care of him like that since he was still shit at cooking. Whenever he was in Doncaster for a visit he had asked his mom to teach him, but so far it hadn’t really helped. He could make toast and on a good day boil water without trashing the kitchen – but that was it.

Louis knew he didn’t really need to learn, but he wanted to. He didn’t want to depend on Harry for everything and sometimes it made him feel pretty useless not being able to contribute anything. His best friend never complained about anything, but Louis never wanted Harry to get tired of him. So he would learn.

“Something wrong with the food?”

Harry sounded worried and Louis glanced at him questioningly.

“Huh?”

His response wasn’t very intelligent, but he didn’t have a clue why Harry was asking him that.

“Well... You looked kinda... disgusted?”

He should really work on his expressions while thinking about things he didn’t like.

“No, no... Just still tired.”

Louis smiled as brightly as possible at Harry and his friend perked up noticeably.

“Oh, okay. Otherwise I could have made something else for you, Lou.”

Instead of responding to that Louis bit into his slice of toast and winked at Harry, who chuckled quietly before he resumed eating his own food. They stayed quiet for the remainder of their meal and Louis was the first one to stand up again and put his plate in the sink. He was just about to go back to his room, when Harry called after him.

“Could you please get the newspaper? I forgot earlier.”

He rolled his eyes but went to the door anyway. At least it was something he could do, even though it was just a simple task. Usually Harry took care of that, too, since he was always awake before Louis, but sometimes he was so out of it that he forgot. Their schedule had been crazy the last few weeks, because they had to fit even more interviews and other things in than usual so they could have their time off before Christmas. They all really needed a break from things now, since things would start to get crazy again soon enough with all the touring.

When he opened the door Louis let out a surprised noise and looked questioningly at what stood on their doormat. A large white box with a big red bow was there – with the newspaper on top. For a moment he just stared, then took the box and carried it inside because it wasn’t exactly warm out there. He set it down on the coffee table and stared some more, until Harry came out of the kitchen, doing a double-take.

“What’s that? And who is it for?”

Louis shrugged and finally noticed a little red envelope attached to the side. He carefully tore it off and his eyebrows rose when he noticed his own name written on the front. The handwriting wasn’t familiar to him, so he looked to Harry for help. Had a fan smuggled it in? But how could they get past the security? Harry looked over his shoulder at the envelope and grinned.

“Aren’t you going to open it? I don’t hear any ticking, so it probably won’t explode in your face.”

Louis snorted and tried to swat the back of Harry’s head, but his friend ducked just in time. Cheeky bugger.

“Ha ha, very funny, Styles.”

But he did have a point and if Louis was honest he nearly died of curiosity. Plus, he licked frilly things like bows and sparkles. His sisters had rubbed off on him a great deal, but he couldn’t bring himself to care or even be horrified about that. That was just the way he was. So he opened the envelope and took out a plain white card that sported the same mysterious handwriting.

 

_Dear Louis_

_You are probably wondering who I am and why I’m sending you gifts, but I’m sorry, I can’t reveal my identity yet. The reason for my doing this though, is that I just want you to know that you are loved, because I deeply care about you. The number fifty symbolizes unconditional love._

_Your Secret Admirer_

 

He didn’t really know what to think about this. It could still be a crazy fan, but the message didn’t really sound like that, which was confusing. If it was someone that knew him personally though, why didn’t they just tell him? It didn’t make sense at all. Louis read the card again, word for word and it really seemed like the person this was from knew him pretty well. They wanted him to know that he was loved, so they had to know about his insecurities and that thought elated and terrified him at the same time. And fifty? He didn’t understand that bit at all.

“Louis, open the box already! I want to know what’s in it.”

Box? Oh right, he had forgotten about that. He flipped Harry off casually, even though he was really jittery and nervous on the inside, before he carefully opened the lid. When Louis saw what was inside, he let out a shocked gasp. Harry whistled appreciatively and Louis had to agree. It really was impressive and suddenly everything did make sense. He was pretty sure that there would be exactly fifty red roses in that enormous bouquet if he would count them. So definitely not a fan, because no teenage girl would send him something like that. Louis really didn’t know what to say or think.

“Who do you think this is from?”

Usually he was the one that couldn’t stop talking the whole time, but right now Harry was the only one of them saying something at all, which rattled Louis more than he would care to admit. This whole thing was totally unexpected and unsettling.

“I don’t know...”

The words were spoken quietly and even Louis himself thought he sounded way off. Large warm hands settled on his shoulders and rubbed them soothingly, easing the tension in them a little. Harry really knew him and his moods better than anyone else and Louis really wished that his best friend would be the Secret Admirer, but there was no chance in hell that was actually true. The thought saddened him a great deal and the elation he had felt for a moment vanished entirely. It was nice to feel loved and appreciated, but... It was not Harry, never Harry. 

“Are you alright, Lou? What’s wrong?”

The concern in Harry’s voice was evident, but Louis just nodded and quickly plastered on a smile again. He wasn’t entirely sure, if he could fool Harry into letting it go, but he could at least try.

“Everything’s fine. Just really surprised and all.”

Good thing Harry couldn’t see his face right now, because he had actually managed to sound cheerful. As an excuse to leave the living room and to distract himself Louis grabbed the bouquet.

“Let’s put them into some water, shall we? Do we even have a vase that will fit this massive thing?”

Louis didn’t wait for an answer and all but rushed into the kitchen, where he put the flowers next to the sink. When Harry entered behind him, be busied himself with rummaging through the cupboards they usually kept vases in so he didn’t have to look at his best friend. Louis just needed a moment to calm down before he faced Harry again so could make sure his expression didn’t betray him. His search proved futile though, since they didn’t have anything that was large enough.

“Think we need to put them in a bucket.”

He murmured his assent to Harry’s suggestion and went to get one from their cleaning supply closet. Once it was filled with water he put the bouquet in and wrinkled his nose at the sight. It really was a shame they didn’t have something more pretty. Maybe they should invest in a new vase soon. Louis snorted at his own silly thought and picked the bucket up to put it on the living room table, but it was so heavy he nearly toppled over. Luckily Harry was right beside him and helped to keep it steady. Together they managed to carry it over without any more mishaps.

“Thanks.”

Harry smiled a little at him and reached out to lightly caress the soft rose petals. Louis watched him doing so, unable to avert his gaze from the sight. The smile was still present when he bent down to sniff the roses and Louis didn’t think he had ever seen a more beautiful sight than that. It sounded so stupid and corny – even in his head – but it was the truth. His throat was tight with pent up emotions and he knew it was time to excuse himself to get some time alone.

“Yeah, well... I’ll go back to sleep again for a bit, feeling a little sluggish.”

His voice sounded squeaky, even to his own ears, but Harry just nodded. So Louis all but fled and heaved a relieved sigh, when he finally closed the door to his room. With a few steps he was next to the bed again and let himself fall into the pillows face first. Everything was totally off today and Louis didn’t know how to fix that odd mood he was in. He’d had those feelings for Harry for a long time already and so far he didn’t have any mental breakdowns like just now. At least he had been close to resembling something like a breakdown.

This stupid Secret Admirer thing probably didn’t even mean anything. They had said they would reveal themselves to him sometime, but Louis didn’t have a clue how the person would do that. The message had also said gifts – as in more than one gift. Would there be another the next day? He didn’t know how to feel about all this, since the first one that already stirred up his emotions that badly. And at the end of the day it still wouldn’t be Harry, because Harry was just his best friend. Of course he cared deeply about Louis and told him that now and then, but not like that Admirer person apparently did.

This was all just so damn confusing and now that he was in bed again Louis noticed how tired he still was. The bed was soft and comfortable and his stomach full, which was great. He didn’t want to think about his problems anymore right now, since he could still do that later after a few more hours of sleep and maybe a phone call with his mom would be a good idea as well. Too bad he wasn’t in Doncaster yet.


	3. Day 01: Niall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments and kudos, lovely people ♥ Here's a new chapter for y'all :D

Niall was not amused when he was awoken by frantic pounding on his door, not at all. He nearly shut the door in Harry’s face again, but the annoying idiot managed to get a foot in between and wrenched it open again. He cursed colorfully under his breath, but Harry didn’t even bat an eyelash, probably too used to it by now. Maybe his Irishness had diminished because he was spending too much time with all those people from England. Okay, no, that thought was pretty stupid but Niall was still half asleep after all – so who could blame him?

“The fuck do ya want, ‘arry?”

He didn’t really care right now, but that was probably the fastest way to get this over with and go back to bed.

“I don’t think he liked it, Niall! What do I do?”

Niall didn’t even have a clue what Harry was talking about and let himself fall onto the couch with a sigh. Much too early in the morning, really. For his tastes at least, since it was 11am already.

“What are you even on about, eh?”

Harry ruffled his curls in frustration and stalked from one corner of the living room to the other. It made Niall’s head spin just to watch him.

“Well the gift, of course! It was your idea, so fix it!”

He thought long and hard and finally remembered their conversation the day before. Seriously, that was why Harry woke him up? He had to be fucking kidding...

“You really did that? Didn’t think you would, mate.”

Before he could stop himself laughter bubbled out of Niall and he was clutching his stomach hard. Harry’s face was just so damn priceless. Like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

“What else was I supposed to do?”

This just made Niall laugh harder and he asked himself how on earth he had ended up with such stupid people. Sure, he wasn’t much older than Harry, but seriously? How could that guy be so naive and still pull that womanizing act off? That really was beyond him.

“Like... grow a pair and just tell him, you dimwit?”

He was already starting to get fed up with the whole conversation, but Niall tried to calm himself down. He really, really wanted to just confront Louis and Harry about their feelings for each other, but he had promised Liam he would keep quiet and let them figure it out on their own.

“I already told you a hundred times...”

Before Harry even opened his mouth Niall could have predicted his answer since he’d heard it countless times before. Losing his friendship and some such bullshit, yeah yeah. If that curly haired wanker would just open his eyes he’d know there was nothing he had to be afraid of. But no, that just wasn’t possible for either of those idiots.

“Yeah, yeah. I know. So okay, you gave him an anonymous gift then? What was it?”

It wasn’t like he really wanted to know, since it was probably just something stupid anyway, but if he was supposed to help Harry out he at least needed the facts.

“A bouquet of roses.”

He gaped at Harry openmouthed and probably resembled a goldfish right now, but Niall was really stunned for a moment. It seemed his friend had actually put a lot of thought into this idea that was just meant as a joke.

“Are you serious? Wow, you’re more dedicated to this than I thought.”

“What did you expect?”

A trinket or some other meaningless bullshit? But he wouldn’t say that out loud, since offended Harry was definitely not a good Harry.

“Not that mate, not that.”

Harry just shrugged and finally sat down next to Niall, which he was grateful for. The pacing had set him on edge even more than just the stupid conversation. So okay, Harry had given Louis roses and the Tommo usually loved flowers and sparkly crap. Why on earth hadn’t he liked it then? Since Harry didn’t say anything else, Niall sighed deeply and asked him.

“What makes you think he didn’t like it, though?”

“Well... Usually he’s all enthusiastic about gifts and stuff, but today... He looked kinda sad instead, so I assumed...”

Niall really wanted to hit something – or someone – in that moment, because he didn’t know how to deal with this much stupidity. He closed his eyes for a second and inhaled deeply.

“Christ, are you really that stupid?”

Before Harry could say anything though, Niall waved him off.

“Never mind. Maybe give Louis something to cheer him up tomorrow?”

“Like what?”

He really felt like a freaking babysitter now. How would he know? So he told Harry the first thing that came to mind.

“Dunno… A mix tape maybe?”

Harry nodded, but still looked kinda lost. Niall didn’t ask this time but waited till his friend would elaborate on his own.

“I need two gifts, though.”

His voice was a little timid since he probably thought Niall would verbally lash out at him again, but he just felt defeated right now. He really didn’t want to do this, but there was just no other choice.

“Uh, why?”

“Well, you know that song Liam and Zayn were singing yesterday?”

Niall thought about it for a while, but then he remembered. The twelve days of Christmas. Oh Christ, it was even worse than he thought. Harry had already opened his mouth to remind him and probably explain, so Niall cut him off with his answer.

“Yeah... Okay. Two mix tapes then?”

Not very original, but who could blame him? He still had better ideas than the one that should be coming up with gifts for his secret love. God, he wanted to puke.

“That could work. What kind of songs do you think he’d like?”

Did he really think he’d get an answer to that one?

“Blimey Harry, why do I even need to help you with that?”

He knew he was whining, but he was entitled to do so by now – at least Niall thought so himself.

“Because it was your idea in the first place and there is no way I could actually manage everything on my own?”

He had a point there and they were friends. Still...

“God damnit... Fine.”

He threw his hands in the air and groaned, which didn’t seem to faze Harry in the slightest. He just patted Niall on the head and started talking again.

“Rita is helping too. She’s writing the cards so Lou doesn’t recognize the handwriting.”

Niall swatted his hand away and snorted.

“You can think of something like that, even getting Rita bloody Ora involved, but not of what to actually give him? You’re hopeless Styles, really.”

Harry flipped him off and stuck his tongue out. Very mature.

“Yeah yeah. You just don’t want to help me.”

He was right there, but it wasn’t like Niall could still back out now. At least Harry wasn’t as oblivious to everything as he’d thought. And if those two got together all the pining and moaning would stop. No more unresolved feelings and sad love eyes at each other, because they were too fucking stupid to notice that the other was equally as in love. And maybe, just maybe this would be fun. Also, there was no way in hell Liam and Zayn wouldn’t notice sooner or later and get involved in the whole mess. Well, Harry probably didn’t know what he had gotten himself into after all. Maybe things would be fun, but they had to do something to improve Louis’ mood.

“You know what, I have an idea. Does he know you left?”

“Probably not, why?”

Brilliant. He could be his usual annoying self then and try to get Louis’ mind off things without being suspicious.

“Okay, we’ll go cheer him up then. Just let me get dressed.”

Before Harry could disagree Niall got up and just let him stand there. He wouldn’t get any more sleep now anyway and he was hungry, so Niall could make the two idiots suffer by dragging them to some burger joint - or better yet Nandos – and hopefully get Louis in a better mood by idly chatting about random stuff. Otherwise he would surely get a headache due to overexposure to Harry’s near panic attacks and incessant chatter.

 

\+ + +

 

Back at the Tomlinson-Styles flat Niall headed straight for Louis bedroom and started his assault. He sat down on the edge of the bed and shook his friend, but Louis didn’t even twitch. Tickling didn’t work either, so other things were in order. Niall bend down to Louis’ ear and braced himself before he started shouting.

“Tommo, get your bum out of bed, you lazy twat!”

Then he gleefully jumped up and down on Louis’ bed and almost got knocked off by a flailing arm that narrowly missed his head. But Niall was made of stronger stuff than that, so of course he didn’t stop until Louis glared at him through his fringe and was most definitely awake.

“What the hell do you want, Horan?”

He was clearly annoyed at being woken up, but Niall didn’t give a damn. After all Louis was the reason he himself had been woken up way before his usual time on a day off, so it was only fair. With a grin he got off the bed and pointed a finger at Louis.

“You’re going to get up and we’ll go to Nandos, so hurry up or I’ll come back.”

Niall didn’t wait around after that, but left the room and Louis to his own devices. He’d give him fifteen minutes to get ready and after that it was back to annoying the hell out of him. Harry wasn’t in the living room anymore where he’d left him, so he just barged into the other lad’s room. The sight before him was actually kind of endearing, since his friend had headphones in and listened to the music intently. In front of him was a little writing pad and he twirled a pen between his fingers, writing down something now and then and sometimes crossing it off again. So he had already started work on those mix tapes – how cute.

After watching for a while Niall took one of the cables and pulled out one of the headphones. Harry looked up at him startled and a little fearful, but calmed down when he saw that it was Niall and not Louis.

“You getting ready to come?”

Harry shook his head and looked at him apologetically. Well, Niall couldn’t say he was surprised, he had expected as much.

“I’ll stay here. If you take Louis out for a while it gives me the chance to work on those tapes without the risk of him barging in here.”

Niall nodded and gave him a thumbs up.

“Fine, but you owe me.”

The other boy rolled his eyes and put his headphones back in and Niall closed the door behind himself. Louis still wasn’t in sight, but he had about five minutes left, so Niall went to the kitchen. When he had to be here he could at least raid the fridge for a little something to tide him over till they were at Nandos. All he found though was some fruit and half a packet of bacon. Geeze.

When he heard a door open, Niall turned around and a moment later Louis stood in front of him, arms crossed. He still wore sweatpants with a hoodie and had haphazardly shoved a beanie over his mussed up hair. His expression was more defeated than annoyed now and maybe it was actually a good thing that Harry had chosen to stay in.

“Well, well... You’re actually on time. I’m impressed.”

Louis snorted and flipped him off, then stuffed his hands into the pockets of his hoodie.

“Oh shut it you wanker. You gonna stand there all day and stare at our fridge?”

Niall rolled his eyes and closed the fridge door. There wasn’t anything in there to eat anyway.

“Not much to stare at, is there?”

A shrug was the only answer he got and Niall left the kitchen with Louis in tow, so they could finally get going.

“Maybe we can buy some groceries on the way back.”

That would give Harry even more time to work on his gifts and Niall could buy some snacks and let Louis pay for them. There had to be something in it for him after all, right?

“Fine with me.”

That was just what he had wanted to hear. Maybe the day wouldn’t suck as much as he had thought.

“Great. Let’s get this show on the road then, mate.”


	4. Day 02: Louis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I couldn't keep my promise. But here's the new chapter, a day late. Thank you very much for the kudos and the comments. Peaches and MercurialPheonix - you really made my day. ♥

**_“On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree.”_ **

 

_London, December 14th_

Harry wasn’t there when he entered the kitchen and Louis slumped down on a chair in defeat. He hadn’t seen his best friend since his retreat the day before and he missed him. Going out to eat with Niall was more fun than he had thought and even the grocery shopping had been quite the event. Louis was a little sad that Harry did not join them, but then he couldn’t expect him to drop everything just to go with them. Niall had told him Harry was busy, so Louis didn’t see him then and when they got back from shopping Harry was nowhere to be found either.

By now he had calmed down about the Secret Admirer thing a little. He could deal with more gifts, no problem, but there would always be moments where Louis got sad and it was increasingly hard to hide those from Harry. Since he couldn’t cook he just got a bowl of cereal and sat down at the table. He didn’t really taste what he stuffed into his mouth, thoughts already elsewhere again. The silence was almost deafening and he wished Niall had stayed over, but the Irish lad had said his goodbyes pretty quickly last night.

His sleep hadn’t been the best, because there was just so much on Louis’ mind he didn’t know how to deal with. For a moment he had even debated with himself whether to just tell Harry about his feelings and get it over with. But of course his reasonable side had intervened and he’d just gone to bed again. Most of the night was spent looking at the ceiling of his bedroom and listening for any sign of Harry, which of course had not come. Eventually he had fallen asleep, just to wake up at least a dozen times during the night.

After about five spoonfuls Louis finally gave up and put his bowl in the sink. He didn’t throw the soggy cereal away, since he wasn’t in the mood to clean up. Just as he was about to close the door to his bedroom he heard the jingle of keys and opening of the front door. So Harry was finally home. Louis wasn’t sure if he should go and say hello or just quietly slip into his room and pretend he hadn’t heard. But of course his conscience wouldn’t let him do that, plus – he wanted to see Harry.

“Morning.”

Harry seemed startled when Louis suddenly addressed him, but smiled brightly. He was glad that he was leaning against the doorjamb, since his knees felt a little weak at that expression. It was quite odd how sheepish his best friend looked at him, but Louis forbade himself to think too much of it.

“Morning Lou. Slept well?”

Louis didn’t verbally respond and just shrugged his shoulders. Harry seemed about to say something else, but didn’t. He took of his shoes and jacket and ruffled his curls, then rummaged in one of the pockets.

“Had a busy night?”

The question came out sharper than Louis would have liked, but he couldn’t take it back now, even if he wanted to. Harry looked at him questioningly and shrugged, mimicking Louis with that gesture.

“A bit. Stayed over at Rita’s, in case you were wondering.”

Somehow it was hard to breathe for Louis in that moment, so he just nodded curtly. So that was who Harry was seeing now, great. He should be happy for his friend, but instead he felt like the whole world had come crashing down around him. His eyes burned and Louis had to fight hard with himself so he didn’t burst into tears. He couldn’t do that in front of Harry, no way in hell. But as luck would have it, his best friend had already vanished into the kitchen. That was probably his cue to get the hell out of here and back to his room, so he could break down in peace there.

“Oh, before I forget it...”

Louis took a deep breath to steady himself and smiled at Harry, raising a brow questioningly. He hoped his mask was in place and didn’t look like a grimace at the moment, but Harry’s expression was neutral, so probably not.

“Hm?”

He handed Louis another white box, this one considerably smaller than the first one. So his Secret Admirer had made good on his word, but Louis really, really didn’t want to deal with any of that at the moment.

“Found this on the doorstep.”

After a croaked out “Thanks”, Louis took the box into his room and set it down on his nightstand before he collapsed onto the bed. He pressed his face into the pillow to muffle the sobs that wrecked him and clutched the sheets desperately. The moment he had been out of sight it was like a floodgate opening and he let it all out, tears wet and hot on his cheeks. Those unrequited feelings had taken their toll on him for almost two years and now he couldn’t hold it in anymore.

His mind was torturing him with scenes of Harry and girls, smiling happily and being his usual charming self. He wanted to have those attentions directed at himself instead of those women, but that would never happen. Never. Harry didn’t love him, would never in a million years love him. He was just a close friend, nothing more, never more. Louis could literally feel his heart breaking and where there had been a tiny spark of hope until now, there was nothing. Total emptiness and an overwhelming sense of loss.

He wanted to scream and throw things, but Louis knew that it wouldn’t change anything. Whatever he did, he couldn’t make Harry love him the way he loved Harry. Not even a bloody sexchange could accomplish that. Somehow his devastation and sadness turned into anger – mostly at himself. He was angry at Harry for not loving him, even though that wasn’t fair, but he was angrier at himself for knowing it was a lost cause and still pining after his best friend. He had to stop that and now would be a good time to start.

Slowly he rolled onto his side and used his sleeve to wipe away the tears. His nose was clogged up and there was still the occasional quiet sob, but Louis tried to will himself to stop. He had to. Accidentally his gaze fell on the white box and he snorted. Secret Admirer. There was someone out there that actually loved him and he couldn’t even be happy about that, because he was so hung up on Harry. That person didn’t even have a chance, since there was only room in his heart for one person. But Harry did not want him, so maybe he should at least try to embrace the affection of that unknown person, try to like them.

Having made a decision, Louis grabbed the box and opened it. The first thing he saw was another red envelope, which he sat aside for now. Beneath that were two CD cases. One read _Songs to cheer you up_ and the other _Songs that remind me of us_. His curiosity was picked a little, but Louis didn’t feel like being cheered up so he would listen to the first one some other time. He really wanted to know what that person thought about him though – or them, as he had put it. Louis paused for a moment, surprised at his last thought, but it would make sense that the Secret Admirer was a he. He couldn’t picture a woman doing this for him, not in that way. And he probably knew him as well. Maybe it was someone from the team? One of the other boys? Okay, maybe he should just wait till he revealed himself, since wild guessing wouldn’t give him an answer anyway.

So he got up to get his laptop and some headphones, then settled down on the bed again. Before Louis started to listen to the songs he picked up the envelope, which was another handwritten card from his admirer.

 

_Dear Louis_

_As promised, more little gifts for you. I hope you liked the roses and it wasn’t too much. You did seem kind of sad yesterday, so hopefully those songs will cheer you up a little. And the other one, well... I just wanted to try and convey to you how I feel. You are wonderful and perfect to me and there is nothing that I want more than to be with you. With that said, I hope you enjoy._

_Love,  
Your Secret Admirer_

 

Louis didn’t really know how to react to those compliments, but they sure were nice, even though he himself thought that he was as far from perfect as one could get. What really made him uneasy though, was that they guy knew he was sad. So he really seemed to be close by – but who? Then again he had been out in public with Niall and anyone could have seen him. Somehow the whole thing was starting to frustrate him, which wasn’t good. After all it was just supposed to be a diversion to forget about Harry. Not that he ever would, but yeah. Time to listen to the songs. He leaned against the headboard, put his headphones in and balanced the laptop on his knees, then pressed play.

_If I don’t say this now, I will surely break..._

The first song was one of his favorites and Louis couldn’t help but smile a little. Years ago he had sung that very song and uploaded it on Youtube. He never thought it was particularly great, but the fans seemed to love it.

_You’ve begun to feel like home, what’s mine is yours to leave or take_

Listening to the lyrics made him think of Harry yet again. They did fit into the situation very well. He felt at home with Harry and it terrified Louis to even think about not having this close relationship anymore. Harry was eighteen now, he could move out whenever he wanted to and Louis hoped and prayed that it wasn’t anytime soon. Even though that might make things less painful and easier to get over. He changed the song, because he really didn’t want to deal with these feelings right now.

_Alone in the night on my own, I feel the pain inside me, only you can heal me..._

He’d never heard the song but Louis really liked it. Until he reached the part where everything started to sound like his own thoughts, that is. His secret admirer apparently wanted to torture him, but Louis remembered that these songs represented how that unknown person felt about him. It made Louis feel a little guilty since he didn’t reciprocate those feelings. They were in the same situation and it just sucked. He skipped to the next song and hoped it would maybe be a little more uplifting.

_You shiver as I touch your neck, you slowly close your eyes, I can’t resist you even if I try_

Louis tried to suppress a shiver and failed. The song wasn’t depressing at all, but it made him feel things he didn’t want to feel right now. His mind conjured unbidden images of Harry and himself, of moments he had fantasized about countless times. Louis imagined Harry touching his neck, slowly caressing the soft skin and shivered again. He didn’t want to give in to his imagination but being in this fantasy world somehow made him happy – even if just for a few moments.

_As you run your fingers through my hair, your lips come close to mine, the tension becomes more than I can bear_

He imagined Harry’s fingers in his hair, gently running through the strands and lightly scratching at his scalp. Louis almost let out a little moan, totally caught up in the fantasy. Green eyes stared into his own and they were so close he could feel Harry’s hot breath on his cheek. He swallowed hard, unconsciously licking his lips in anticipation. Just a little more...

The song abruptly changed and his dream bubble burst without warning. Louis was a little disorientated at first, then groaned and leaned his head against the wall. Could his life get any worse? Harry was everywhere, always on his mind and it slowly killed him from the inside. Louis stopped the music and shut his laptop down, dropping it onto the floor next to the bed as gently as he was capable of before he rolled into a ball on his bed. The images from before still lingered in his mind and he couldn’t believe how vivid they had been. With a sigh he burrowed down under the covers and pulled them up over his head, hiding. Life wasn’t that easy, but he just wanted it all to go away for a little while and sleep would hopefully accomplish that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The three songs are:
> 
> The Fray - Look after you  
> Sunrise Avenue - Heal me  
> Sasha - If you believe
> 
> Hope you enjoyed ♥


	5. Day 02: Harry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really, really sorry that this is so late :( I was sick - still am - and had some real life problems... But here is finally chapter four! I hope you enjoy and I'll try my best to post the next chapter somewhere around Christmas.
> 
> Of course thank you for the kudos and comment again ♥ I love you all :3

Harry was beyond frustrated and kicked one of the kitchen chairs while he cursed under his breath. He hadn’t meant to snap at Louis like that – or at all. His best friend had looked so fragile and scared in that moment, but before he even had the chance to apologize for his rudeness Louis was already gone – back to his room. This type of behavior was really unusual for him, but Harry blamed the stress. He probably just needed some time to unwind and rest. Yeah, that was the reason for sure and if he told himself that a few more times, maybe he’d actually believe it.

Staying over at Rita’s wasn’t something he had planned, but he had been so tired that it seemed like the logical choice. Louis had never really warmed up to her or Grimmy and Harry had no clue why. They were great people and fun to be with, so it made him a little sad that Louis didn’t get along with them. He was pretty indifferent to Rita, but for some reason Louis really hated Nick’s guts. Well, now was not the time to dwell on things like that. He didn’t know what to do, so he called Niall. It only rang twice before his friend picked up.

“Yeah?”

For a second he debated on beating around the bush or being honest with Niall about the whole thing and finally decided to just admit, that he needed help.

“I need your help.”

There was a snort on the other end of the line and Harry could just imagine Niall rolling his eyes. 

“Well, what’s new...”

He simply ignored the mocking, sat down on one of the chairs and got to the matter at hand.

“Louis is acting strange and to be honest it quite terrifies me.”

Niall sighed and his tone was serious when he answered after a moment of contemplative silence.

“Sadly you’re right. Maybe it’s time for some intervention.”

Intervention? Usually the kind of intervention One Direction did meant that entailed...

“You mean...”

Harry couldn’t even finish the sentence before his friend spoke up again, amusement evident in his voice.

“Yes. Get Liam and Zayn involved.”

He loved his friends, he really did, but Liam and Zayn would so take the piss, that Harry wasn’t entirely sure if he wanted that intervention or rather if it would be helpful in any way.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

Niall sighed and Harry could hear the annoyance in that small sound.

“Well... Do you have a better one?”

He didn’t, so Harry just kept quiet.

“…”

“Yeah, thought so. I’ll round up the boys and we’ll be over in a few. Cheers.”

Harry ended the call and let his head fall down onto the table with a dull thud. This really wasn’t what he had imagined when he asked Niall for help, not at all. They would tease him mercilessly once they knew what was going on, but maybe they could actually help with getting Louis out of his room. Doing something fun and not work-related with all of the boys might be what could improve his best friend’s mood. He was just about to get up and get something to drink, when there was a knock on the door. Niall sure didn’t waste any time.

Liam and Zayn looked a bit confused when he opened the door and let them in. Niall had a smirk on his face and Harry shoved him playfully when he walked past. They settled down in the living room and everyone looked at him expectantly. When he didn’t say anything, Liam finally broke the silence.

“So, is there any particular reason the Irish one has dragged us over here? And where’s Louis?”

He sighed and braced himself for the mockery that would surely come very soon.

“Lou’s in his room. And you are here because I asked Niall for help and he decided it was intervention time.”

Zayn raised an eyebrow questioningly and his bored expression changed to one of eager curiosity.

“Oh? And what pray tell do we need to intervene on? What kind of help do you need?”

So now came the hard part, the one, that Harry really, really dreaded. His gaze wandered to Louis’ bedroom door, to make sure it was firmly shut and his best friend wasn’t listening. Niall snorted, got up and walked right to the door, which made Harry panic a little. He crouched down in front of the keyhole and peered into it, before giving him the thumbs up.

“Coast ‘s all clear, he’s listening to music with headphones.”

Harry nodded appreciatively and of course he didn’t miss Liam’s confused stares. Well, here we go...

“So as you probably know, I really like Louis...”

Zayn snorted and rolled his eyes, pointing his finger straight at Harry.

“You, my friend are head over heels in love with the Tommo and don’t even try to deny it.”

Were they really having this conversation? Harry groaned internally, but of course didn’t deny the accusation, since it was totally true.

“Okay fine, you’re right. He doesn’t know that though and I’d prefer it to stay that way.”

He looked pointedly at Zayn, who rolled his eyes yet again, but nodded.

“I just can’t tell him outright, because I don’t want to lose him and– don’t give me that look Zayn! Anyway, yeah... I kind of started this Secret Admirer thing and gave him gifts anonymously. Geeze, stop laughing!”

Liam tried to hide his laughter behind his hand, but Zayn was openly cackling now, joined by Niall. Why were they his friends again?

“You... what? Seriously Harry? How can the both of you be so freaking stupid?”

Harry flipped him off and rolled his eyes.

“Whatever. The thing is, since he received the first gift he’s been oddly quiet and withdrawn. I stayed over at Rita’s last night, since it got late and she’s helping with the gifts, but when I came home this morning and told him where I was he was really snappy, so I snapped back. And then he just disappeared into his room, where he’s been since.”

His three friends groaned in unison and Harry was really lost, when they all shot him exasperated looks. Zayn stood up and sat down next to him, throwing his arm around Harry’s shoulder.

“Mate, you have a serious problem here. The thing is, Louis was probably j– “

Before he could finish the sentence though, Liam kicked him hard in the shin and Zayn yelped in pain.

“What he’s trying to say... Of course we will help you with your thing and also to cheer up Lou.”

Liam made puppy eyes at Zayn in apology, but he just groaned and hid his face at Harry’s shoulder, who decided to ignore the odd behavior and smiled brightly at Liam.

“Thanks Li, I really appreciate it. So... What do we do?”

Niall grinned excitedly and bounced on his armchair a little.

“How about watching a cheesy movie? And I demand cocoa with loads of marshmallows! Some Christmas cheer might be just the thing to make Louis happy. By the way... You should start decorating around here, doesn’t look very Christmas-y.”

Harry looked around the flat and nodded. Niall sure was right about that last part. Maybe he could get Louis to do it with him the next day. If his best friend would even talk to him after that disaster earlier.

“Excellent idea. Do you have everything here, Harry?”

Cheesy movies, check. Cocoa, check. Marshmallows – not too sure.

“Don’t know. I might, but not sure about the ‘mallows.”

Niall got up and was already halfway out of the door when he yelled a “I got plenty, be right back.” at them. Not surprising, since Niall probably had every kind of food stocked in his kitchen.

“I’ll go and get Louis”, Liam announced and Harry’s stomach did a flip. He really hoped Louis would come out of hiding and have a nice day with them. He would make sure to apologize for snapping at him earlier.

It was cowardly, but when Liam got up Harry all but ran into the kitchen, so he could prepare the cocoa. Someone had to after all and he was the best at making cocoa. Zayn followed him and leaned against the wall, arms crossed. Harry could feel the gaze on his back and it made him a bit nervous. After he had almost dropped a cup, spilled the cocoa powder and splashed some milk on the counter he finally turned around and acknowledged it.

“What?”

Zayn smirked at him and wiggled his eyebrows, but pushed away from the wall and gave Harry a hug.

“Stop being so nervous, everything will be alright.”

How could he say that so easily? But Harry was thankful for the hug and snuggled closed to Zayn for a bit. He knew they cared about him a great deal, but sometimes his friends were just so insufferable.

“How– oh, sorry. I didn’t want to interrupt.”

Harry felt Zayn’s body tense and ended their embrace. He smiled at Liam and motioned him forward, hugging him too.

“No need to be jealous, everyone is getting free hugs.”

Zayn’s smile seemed a bit strained and Harry filed that information away for later. Liam laughed and cuddled him close, before he shoved Harry in front of the stove.

“Better watch that milk, we don’t want burnt cocoa.”

He stuck his tongue out, but did as he was told. Liam was about to leave the kitchen again, when Harry remembered something.

“Liam?”, he asked tentatively and the other boy turned around again.

“What about Louis?”

Liam smiled and gave him the thumbs up.

“He’s in the living room choosing a movie for us to watch. He seemed a little sad, but I think other than that he’s alright.”

Harry nodded and concentrated on the task at hand again. He still dreaded going out there and his heart clenched in his chest painfully, but he couldn’t hide here forever. Niall bustled into the kitchen and dropped a packet of marshmallows and several packages of cookies onto the counter, before running out again. Harry raised an eyebrow, but then just shrugged. He put some cookies on a plate and filled the steaming cocoa into mugs before adding a generous amount of marshmallows to each cup. But there was no way he could carry it all by himself.

“Oi, a little help here, please.”

They seemed to argue for a moment who had to get up, but then he heard footsteps and smirked a little to himself. When Louis entered the kitchen though, Harry gulped nervously and didn’t know what to say. His best friend smiled at him sheepishly and fiddled with his fingers, not really making eye contact.

“Hi.”

Louis’ voice was soft and Harry let out a sigh. He didn’t say anything, just stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Louis, holding him close. His best friend seemed to stiffen at the contact, but relaxed after a moment and Harry buried his nose into the caramel locks, inhaling deeply. They stood like that for a moment, before he remembered that there was something he had to say.

“I’m sorry, Lou. I didn’t mean to snap at you like that. Forgive me, please?”

The grip around his waist tightened a bit and Louis nodded before letting go and smiling at Harry.

“Yeah, it’s okay. I’m sorry that I’m so touchy at the moment, just really tired out, I guess.”

To keep his hands busy, Harry grabbed two of the mugs and the plate of cookies, leaving the rest to Louis. He wanted to caress his friend’s cheek, kiss him on the forehead and tell him everything would be alright, but of course he couldn’t.

“It’s fine. Come on, the lads are probably waiting already.”

Louis nodded and they left the kitchen together, trudging back into the living room, were Niall was impatiently pacing the room. Liam had the remote in his hand and smiled a little at them, while Zayn shot Harry a knowing look. He slightly inclined his head and thanked them silently for sending Louis to get the cocoa. Zayn smirked a little and winked.

“Fucking finally!”

Niall all but rushed up to them and stole a cup right out of Louis’ hands. They all laughed at his antics, because it was just so typical.

“Wha’?”

Niall was happily munching on his marshmallows and looked at them confusedly, but they just ignored him. They set the remaining cups down onto the coffee table and piled onto the couches. Liam and Zayn squeezed in between Harry and Louis and he had a really hard time to hide his disappointment. Niall sprawled onto the other couch and smirked at him. So much for hiding his reaction.

“What’s up with the big ass bouquet of roses?”

Harry internally groaned and looked at Louis, who was a little pink around the nose and looked freaking adorable. He nervously scratched his neck and didn’t look at either of them.

“It was a gift... From a secret admirer.”

Zayn slightly nudged Harry and winked again, while Liam pretended to be intrigued.

“Oh, really? Wow, that’s cool. Do you have any idea who it is?”

Louis shook his head and shrugged.

“No, but his gifts were really nice and thoughtful.”

He felt a fluttering in his stomach and smiled a little to himself. So Louis had liked them after all and he had really just been tired. Harry felt like an enormous weight had been lifted off of him in that moment.

“There are more? And how do you know it’s a ‘he’?”

Liam really seemed to enjoy drilling Louis about his admirer and Harry wasn’t sure if he liked it or not. But how did Louis know his admirer was a male?

“I don’t, it’s just what I assume... And he also gave me CDs with some really nice songs on them.”

Louis grabbed one of the mugs and took a sip of cocoa. Harry knew him too well, to think it was just a casual action. Louis was trying to hide his embarrassment.

“Ok, cool. Anything else new? How are Grimmy and Rita, Harry?”

The sudden change of topic confused Harry a little, but he played along.

“Grimmy is great, went skiing with some friends. And Rita is awesome. Got a new boyfriend and is going to spend Christmas with him and his family somewhere in Scotland. She was really glowing when she talked about him.”

He couldn’t help but smile when he thought about the way she had flailed and bounced around the room when she told him all of that. A coughing fit interrupted his thoughts and he shot Louis a worried look. Liam patted his back and after a moment Louis took a deep breath and quieted down.

“You alright, mate? Shouldn’t inhale the cocoa like that, only Niall’s mouth is big enough for that.”

Zayn started laughing and even Louis smiled a little. Niall just snorted.

“I heard ya, you know?”

But he wasn’t really offended, since they were always poking fun at his habits. Harry saw Louis looking at him out of the corner of his eye and turned his head, but the instant their gazes connected Louis looked at his hands again. Odd, really odd.

“So, movie?”

Again it was Liam that broke the tense silence and Harry was indeed grateful for the intervention now. So he grabbed the pile of DVDs from the coffee table and stood up.

“What’s it gonna be?”

Everyone shrugged, but then Louis looked at him and smiled tentatively.

“Love actually, please.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, I want to wish you a Merry Christmas or just Happy Holiday! :3


	6. Day 03: Louis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yet again I have to apologize for being late - I'm sorry. The Christmas holidays have been utter madness so far and I didn't find time to write. But here is the next chapter for you all now :D Hope you enjoy and of course thank you for all the kudos and comments!

_**“On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me three French hens, two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree.”** _

 

_London, December 15th_

His back hurt really badly when Louis woke up, which was no wonder, since he had slept on the couch. It was soft and comfy for sitting on, but sleeping – not so much. Someone had covered him with a blanket and that made him smile a little. Since Liam, Zayn and Niall were nowhere in sight, it had probably been Harry. Louis tried to sit up and groaned a little, stretching his arms to ease the pain in his back. He finally managed and tiredly slumped against the backrest.

Spending some time with the lads had been really nice. They had watched several movies, ordered pizza, played videogames and just goofed off. At first Louis hadn’t really been too keen on coming out of his room at all, but who could resist the patented Puppy-Payne-Eyes™? Not him, that was for sure. And there was no way he could avoid Harry for longer anyway. Everyone would get suspicious, if they hadn’t already and that wasn’t something Louis wanted to deal with. In the end it had all worked out in his favor though.

He had talked to Harry, who had apologized to him and Louis had just done the same, so they were okay. Well, as okay as it could get regarding the circumstances. Liam had asked him about his secret admirer, which hadn’t really been very enjoyable, but at least they hadn’t teased him that much. And Louis had also gained a very valuable piece of information from the conversation that followed. Harry and Rita weren’t an item. Not that this would change his situation in any way, but the spark of hope had returned to him. That was probably not good, yet knowing that Harry was still single improved his mood considerably.

Zayn and Liam had sat between them and Louis had to admit he was quite jealous of those two. They had cuddled the whole damn afternoon and evening, almost oblivious to their surroundings and he had really wanted that, too. Because he couldn’t help himself, Louis had been sneaking looks at Harry the whole time and sometimes even caught his best friend looking as well. Niall had talked them into playing some videogames and Harry had more or less kicked Liam and Zayn off the couch then, snuggling up to Louis. Of course it didn’t mean a thing, but it was nice nonetheless.

His stomach growled very loudly and Louis decided to get some breakfast. What he didn’t expect though, was Harry standing in front of the stove stark naked and flipping pancakes. Had he really been that far into his thoughts, that he missed the noise? Louis’ throat went dry and he just stood there and stared. He had seen Harry without clothes a million times, but it had never affected him the way it did right in that moment. Probably because of that daydream he’d had the day before. Harry hadn’t noticed him yet, so he could probably still sneak into his room undetected. But as fate would have it his best friend turned around right at that second and saw him.

“Good morning, Lou.”

Harry smiled brightly and winked at him, before he flipped the pancake onto a plate and put more batter into the pan. Louis was bright red in the face and coughed nervously.

“Mornin’ Haz...”

Since he couldn’t escape anymore, Louis sat down at the table and tried his best not to stare at Harry to obviously. 

“Slept well? I tried to wake you up last night, but you wouldn’t budge.”

Louis nodded and then remembered Harry couldn’t see, since he was still facing the stove.

“Yeah, but my back is killing me.”

Harry joined him at the table with plates, cutlery and the pancakes and sat down opposite Louis. He seemed worried.

“Want me to give you a massage later?”

It was really hard for Louis to stay calm, but he shook his head and tried to smile.

“No no, it’s fine. Just going to take a bath and relax a bit. It should be fine then.”

Just the thought of Harry massaging him made Louis shudder and he was sure he’d spontaneously combust if he would let those big, graceful hands touch him.

“If you’re sure.”

Oh yeah, most definitely.

“Yeah, I am. Got anything planned for the day?”

Best to try and distract him a little, so he would drop the subject. And he also wanted to make an effort and spend some time with Harry to make up for the last two days.

“Actually, I thought we could decorate our humble abode a little? It’s about time.”

Putting up Christmas decorations was a fabulous idea. Nothing could really go wrong there and it would give Louis something to do instead of just daydreaming and making a fool out of himself.

“Hm, true. Need to get the decorations from the basement then.”

He didn’t particular like to go down there, but if he absolutely had to, he would.

“Think I’ll do that while you take your bath and after we can put them up together, yeah?”

Louis smiled a little and nodded.

“Sounds like a plan.”

They ate in silence and after Louis put his plate away he went straight into the bathroom. It was good to be away from Harry for a bit and hopefully his best friend would put on some clothes for going to the basement, since it was rather cold. Louis didn’t think he could cope with more naked Harry for the rest of the day. He ran the bathwater, making it extra hot, since his muscles would need the relaxation.

It took a while to fill the tub, but finally Louis could strip and go in. A sigh escaped him and he closed his eyes, trying to relax. His back was still really tense, probably not just from sleeping on the couch. For some reason Louis thoughts wandered to his secret admirer. Would there be another gift waiting for him on the doorstep? And what would it be this time? He’d have to check that later.

The song he had listened to the day before was still kind of stuck in his head and that drove Louis quite nuts. Thoughts like that and a naked Harry were really not good for his mental health. Or his hormones. The mental picture of Nick Grimshaw in a tutu helped him to calm down again and Louis quite enjoyed his bath. A knock on the door made him jump and splutter a little.

“You alright, Lou? Didn’t drown in the tub?”

Harry sounded amused and Louis snorted before he heaved himself out of the bathtub and grumbled an answer.

“You wish.”

His best friend gasped in mock outrage and Louis couldn’t help but smile a little.

“You wound me deeply, Tomlinson. Anyway, all the decoration is in the living room, so we can start whenever you’re ready.”

Louis missed the easy banter between them, but lately he’d rarely been up to that. He was just too aware of how close and yet how far away Harry was. It wasn’t easy. He dried off quickly and put fresh clothes on then exited the bathroom. Harry was nowhere in sight, so Louis made a beeline to his room for another little reprieve before he had to face his best friend. It really was pathetic how he was practically hiding. With a snort he threw his dirty clothes in the laundry basket and firmly closed his bedroom door behind himself.

“Oh, you’re done.”

The other’s presence startled him a little, but Louis tried not to let Harry see it. His friend was balancing a tray with two mugs and a plate and he followed him to the coffee table where Harry set it down. It had seemed effortless with his big hands and Louis had to suppress a shiver at the thought of those hands on him instead. Not a good train of thought.

“I made some hot cocoa, with extra marshmallows for you”, Harry exclaimed happily and Louis practically felt his heart melt.

He looked so much like a kid in that moment and it reminded Louis of the X Factor days. There had been an instant connection between them from the start and he was positive that Harry and him would have kept in touch, even if they hadn’t become famous. Of course he had a lot of other friends, but none of them had even been as close to him as Harry was. This was a once-in-a-lifetime thing.

“Are you alright, Lou?”

Harry sounded worried and Louis smiled at him, shaking his head.

“Nah, my thoughts just wandered a bit, I guess. So anyway, what are we going to put where? Any plans, yet?”

His friend took one of the mugs and blew on the hot beverage a little, shaking his head.

“Not really. Let’s just see what we have and then decide where to put it.” 

Louis nodded and drank some of his cocoa as well. He closed his eyes for a second and nearly moaned in bliss, it was so delicious. When he looked at Harry a tiny smile played at the corners of his mouth and Harry winked. He put the mug aside, fixed his fringe and Louis couldn’t help but notice how his friend’s jumper rode up a bit, exposing his stomach. Louis was transfixed by the pale skin, but turned away with a cough, when Harry’s eyes met his. Panic set it for a second but Harry didn’t say anything, so he probably hadn’t noticed after all.

“Okay, so... Let’s take that garland and put it over the threshold, yeah?”

He did as he was told and so they put up decorations all over the place, garlands and candles and whatnot. Louis didn’t even know where most of it came from, but he didn’t question Harry either. He wasn’t really keen on mistletoe, but there was no good reason to protest, when Harry put it up practically everywhere. He just needed to make sure not to get caught under it with anyone – especially Harry. Of course Louis wanted to kiss his best friend, but it would be torture to have something for a moment and then never again.

“Pretty much done now...”

Their flat looked really great now. Every available surface was covered and decorated and for some it would probably be too much, but Louis absolutely loved it. Most of it was red and white, with the occasional bit of colour strewn in. Little straw angels populated the garlands, sat next to tiny snowmen and reindeers. His sisters would adore all of it and Louis couldn’t help but be slightly melancholy again. He would be in Doncaster for the holidays, no Harry anywhere. It would be so nice to celebrate here instead and have their families come over. With a sigh he sat on the edge of their couch and observed his best friend.

Harry seemed almost radiant. His cheeks were flushed and his eyes nearly sparkled. Louis loved watching him like this and sadly it had been a while since Harry looked this happy. They were still close friends, but something seemed amiss. Louis mostly blamed it on himself since he was keeping his distance from Harry after all. It hurt, but he couldn’t really do anything about it, because being close just hurt that much more.

Louis didn’t pay attention, because he was too fixated on Harry so his foot caught in one of the leftover garlands, causing him to stumble forward. He tried to keep his balance, but it was futile, so he practically barreled into Harry’s chest. Warm arms wrapped themselves around his waist and held him close. He could smell Harry’s fruity shampoo and inhaled deeply, savoring the moment. Accidents like this seemed like out of the next soap opera, but he didn’t care. Louis never wanted to move again and instead stay in Harry’s embrace forever. If only he could.


	7. Day 03: Harry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is late again, I'm sorry. A lot to do at the moment, but I'm really trying and I will finish this story for sure - I promise. That said - enjoy my lovelies ♥ And of course thank you for the kudos and comments! :*

It had been a while since he’d enjoyed a day as much as this one. Louis had still seemed a little off, but it was fun to decorate their place for the holidays. Things had been normal between them, so Harry had just thrown caution out of the window and behaved like his usual affectionate self. Everything went really well – until the accident. It wasn’t even much, but Louis stumbled over some of the decorations and landed in Harry’s arms. For a moment he just couldn’t react and stared at Louis like a deer caught in headlights. Good thing his friend couldn’t see.

The seconds ticked by, but they felt like hours to Harry. Louis still hadn’t moved so he tentatively wrapped his arms around his secret crush, holding him close. The smell of the fruity shampoo that Louis always used assaulted Harry’s senses when he buried his nose into the soft caramel coloured hair. He heard Louis sigh almost inaudibly and the moment seemed perfect. Until Harry remembered that they were friends – nothing more. Reluctantly he let go off Louis and steadied his friend so he wouldn’t fall again.

“Are you alright?”

Louis nodded and smiled a little at him. The butterflies in Harry’s stomach were doing somersaults and he coughed a little nervously, raking a hand through his hair. He had tried to find something to occupy himself after that, but couldn’t think of anything, until he remembered that Louis still hadn’t looked for his next present and they were supposed to make cookies now. What his friend didn’t know yet.

“So... What did that Secret Admirer bring you today, hm?”

His question was totally out of the blue and Louis seemed a little confused at first, but perked up immediately after that.

“Oh, I didn’t even go see if there was anything... I’ll be right back.”

And again he practically fled the scene. Well, crap. He at least hoped that Louis would like what he got him today. It was really personal and Harry hoped that he didn’t give himself away like that. He was still wary of revealing his identity as the Secret Admirer to Louis, but it was only the third day, so he had plenty of time left to come up with a way to do so.

He came back with another white box. Harry quite liked those so he had chosen to use them for his little endeavour. The red bows had been Rita’s idea. He was really grateful that she had agreed to help him out with all the presents. But there was a downside to her knowing about everything. Rita just couldn’t keep a secret to save her life, so Grimmy knew about everything. Harry really liked him, but at the moment Nick really annoyed him. His stupid jokes were even worse than usual and he still thought they were funny.

He’d even gone as far as inviting himself over for dinner this week, which was a small wonder in itself, since he rarely came by their flat due to Louis’ open animosity. It would be a complete disaster, one that Harry sadly couldn’t really prevent because there was no good reason why he shouldn’t come over. Nick for sure wouldn’t shut his big mouth until he had thoroughly embarrassed him or both of them and probably made Louis furious in the process.

“So what’s it today?”

To distract himself from those thoughts Harry focused on Louis and the present again. His friend just looked at the box and seemed to hesitate for a moment. Then he just shook his head.

“I don’t know. I’ll open it later, just let me put this in my room and we can continue decorating and stuff.”

Harry was surprised to say the least, but he just shrugged. Too bad he couldn’t see Louis’ reaction to his newest gift, but well...

To find something meaningful he wanted to give to Louis had not been easy, but in the end Harry had found something really personal. In the box were three photo books. One with pictures from their time at the X-Factor, where everything had begun, another with pictures of Louis’ family and the third was filled with pictures of them and the other three boys. Harry had even used some pictures of just him and Louis and hopefully his friend wouldn’t catch on and unmask him as the Secret Admirer.

It really took only a few seconds for his friend to return and Harry decided it was time for Plan B.

“Well... How about continuing with part two of our great Christmas spree?”

Louis raised an eyebrow and looked at Harry questioningly, who just smirked and nearly jumped up and down with joy. Baking Christmas cookies was one of his favourite things about the holiday. Harry had spent countless hours in the kitchen with his mom and had loved every second of it – not just as a child. Gemma on the other hand had always rolled her eyes at them but ate most of the cookies in the end. Harry hadn’t minded much, just thought it was funny. And now he wanted to have a great time in the kitchen with Louis, wanted to recreate that warm and homey feeling baking had always brought him.

Even though this wasn’t their first Christmas together they had never managed to do this before. Lack of time or other things had always prevented it, but now there was nothing else to do and nowhere else to be.

“And what would that be?”, Louis finally asked and Harry just grabbed his hand, tugging his friend into the kitchen. He had already laid out the ingredients and everything they needed when he had made the cocoa earlier.

“Cookies?”

Louis sounded a little incredulous, but Harry just ignored it. Maybe he was trying too hard, but he really wanted to do this now.

“Indeed! Now put that apron on and we can get started, Boo.”

The nickname slipped out unintentionally and of course Harry didn’t miss how Louis tensed up. Once again he asked himself what he had done wrong, but couldn’t think of anything, so he just carried on.

He turned on the radio and started to hum along to the Christmas music while pretty much twirling around the kitchen, throwing things into a bowl and mixing them together. He caught Louis shaking his head at that, but he was smiling again.

“You’re totally nuts, Styles – I hope you know that.”

Harry laughed out loud at that and practically chirped an “Of course” at Louis who put the apron on now, rolling up his sleeves.

“So... What do you want me to do? And please remember that I’m a total disaster in the kitchen.”

In his daydreams Harry had totally forgotten about that little detail. He contemplated Louis’ question for a moment, then combined more ingredients for another type of cookies and handed the bowl to his friend. From a drawer he got a big spoon and presented that to him as well. It couldn’t be that hard to stir something and it wasn’t dangerous either. Nothing where Louis could cut himself or worse.

“There you go.”

Louis rolled his eyes and started to furiously work the spoon. Harry left him to it and rolled out the dough he had already prepared and cut out different shaped cookies – hearts, stars and snowflakes. Later he would make them look real pretty with coloured icing. Out of the corner of his eye he kept watching Louis and couldn’t help but chuckle at the sight that greeted him. The look Louis gave him was pretty exasperated, which made Harry laugh even more.

“What now? Is there something on my face?”

Harry snorted and nodded.

“Actually yes, there is.”

It was so utterly adorable how Louis tried to catch sight of what was on his face and crunched up his nose, that Harry very nearly lost it and just shoved him up against the kitchen counter to claim his lips. He closed his eyes for a second and took a deep breath, before he put on a cheerful smile again.

“Here, let me help you...”

He took pity on Louis and scooped the bit of dough off his cheek with a finger. Without even thinking about it he licked the finger and moaned a little because the dough tasted really good.

“Hm, tasty.”

Louis didn’t move and stared at Harry, not saying a word. His cheeks were pink and Harry eyed him curiously, raising an eyebrow. He was fidgeting with the apron and looked like he might panic any second.

“Lou, are you okay?”

Harry put a hand on his friend’s shoulder and squeezed it lightly, startling Louis out of his stupor. First he shook his head, then nodded furiously.

“I... yeah, sure. Fine, just peachy, actually. Eh... bathroom. I need to go there, for a bit... yeah.”

He rambled out that sentence, stepped away from Harry’s grip and fled the kitchen, leaving a very bewildered Harry behind. He didn’t have a clue about what was going on. With a sigh he continued his kitchen work. Maybe therapeutic baking would take his mind off of things. Louis’ odd behaviour dimmed his good mood significantly.

When Louis came back he was even quieter than before. A big sign, that something wasn’t quite right – or rather – very, very wrong. Harry knew it wouldn’t be long until he snapped and made Louis sit down with him and have a long talk about what was going on. Things just couldn’t stay like they were right now.

He missed the bubbly personality his best friend usually had and it made him sad that Louis hadn’t confided in him – or anyone. The other boys didn’t have a clue about anything either, but they had decided not to get involved. So Harry was on his own. And he’d be damned, if he couldn’t find out what was wrong and help Louis with his problems.

They didn’t really talk anymore while working in the kitchen and when they were finished, Louis excused himself and went to hide in his room again. Harry sat down on the counter after he had cleaned up the last of the supplies. He stared at the wall and just felt kind of defeated, didn’t know what to do and contemplated to call Niall again, but decided against it. Somehow he would get out of his mess on his own.


	8. Day 04: Louis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next chapter - finally. I'm sorry for the delay, but I'm really busy atm. Not at school, but at practical work right now... and for two more weeks. After that I'll hopefully be faster with updates.
> 
> Thanks for the kudos and a special thanks to MercurialPheonix for the comments to every chapter. Love you ♥

**_“On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree.”_ **

 

_London, December 16th_

Another night of insomnia lay behind Louis and he felt like shit. Getting up was more a chore than anything, but he finally managed to drag himself out of bed and into the bathroom. The flat was eerily quiet, so Harry was probably still asleep. He listened again, to be sure, but there were definitely no sounds from the kitchen today. With a relieved sigh he slumped against the wall and closed his eyes for a moment. 

He really needed to get over himself and act normally again. There was no way he could delude himself into believing that Harry hadn’t noticed anything, so he needed to get a damn grip already. It was still early, but his mother would probably be up already. He really needed to talk to someone about his situation and she was the only one he could trust enough for the whole truth. So Louis went back to his room and called her.

“Tomlinson?”

Jay sounded pretty sleepy still and Louis felt kind of bad, that he had probably woke her up after all.

“Hi Mom...”

There was some rustling on the other side. She probably sat up in bed to talk to him in a more comfortable position. Louis couldn’t suppress a small smile.

“Lou! Isn’t it still early? What’s wrong love?”

Of course she would assume, but it was obvious anyway, since he usually called at a time where his sisters were up, so he could talk to them as well.

“Everything mom, everything... But I’m not sick or anything, so don’t worry. It’s just... I don’t even know where to start...”

She made a quiet cooing noise and Louis was reminded of the time he was a kid. Sometimes he really missed living in Doncaster.

“From the beginning, sweety. You know you can tell me everything, right?”

He sighed deeply and combed a hand through his hair, nodding to himself.

“Yeah, I know... It’s about Harry, mostly. And I also... have a secret admirer.”

There was silence on the other end for a bit and then Jay sighed as well.

“Oh love... You do love him a lot, don’t you? I’ve always noticed how the two of you were. And I was wondering when you would see it, too.”

To say he was shocked was quite the understatement, but then when he thought about it... It wasn’t really that surprising, that she had somehow known. Mothers probably always knew such things about their children. But he kind of wished he wouldn’t have seen it himself.

“It’s not that simple... I... I really love him, but he doesn’t feel the same. It’s killing me and I don’t know how to act around him anymore, mom. I distance myself, because it hurts too much to be so close to him and with that I hurt him – and myself. I just don’t know what to do anymore. And this secret admirer business has made me depressed as well, because all I can think about is that he’s not Harry...”

“So you’ve told him and he said so? Or that’s what you assume, Boo? You should talk to him about everything, Louis. Otherwise you might lose him. I know it’s the worst, but that’s really all you can do. And how do you know that Harry is not that secret admirer? Maybe it’s his way to show you how he feels, because he’s too chicken to say something – just like you?”

Louis didn’t really know what to say. So far he hadn’t even thought about it like that, because... it couldn’t be – right?

“I don’t know...”

“Sweety, just try to behave normal around him again, yeah? Even if it’s hard. He loves you very much, Louis. I can’t say in which way, but he does and you know it.”

He did know that. Harry loved him like a brother, a best friend. And that just wasn’t what he wanted.

“Yeah...”

But his mother was right, so yeah, he would try to do that. Not over think things anymore and just be himself. He could do that – hopefully.

“Thanks mom, I’ll try my best... Hug the girls for me, yeah?”

Doncaster seemed so far away right now, even if it was just a little over a week until he would actually be there. He missed his sisters and his mom a lot.

“Of course, love. Have a nice day and when you need me... I’m always there.”

They exchanged goodbyes and hung up. For a while Louis just stared at his bedroom ceiling, but decided to get up and do something. First he went to the door to look for the newspaper. Maybe there would be a gift again, too. So when he opened the door and there was nothing – but the newspaper, of course – Louis didn’t really know what to think. He wasn’t disappointed because he wasn’t that invested in the mystery guy, but it was odd. But he’d probably just given up on him already.

He took the paper and threw himself on the couch to read it. Nothing much interesting in there, but then he found some articles about local theatre productions that seemed somewhat interesting. He’d just gotten halfway through the first article when the doorbell rang. It was still early, so he was surprised that someone would stop by. Even though he didn’t really want to, Louis got up to answer it.

A beaming Lou with Lux in her arms was staring back at him and he didn’t know what to say. Did he miss something? They were supposed to be off until the New Year, right? Nothing in between that he had somehow forgotten? Some photo shoot or something?

“Morning Louis! Here you are!”, Lou practically chirped and handed him a white envelope with a red bow.

It did look familiar and when Louis opened it, another message from the secret admirer greeted him. So he hadn’t given up after all, hm.

 

_Dear Louis_

_You seemed really tense and unhappy lately, so I wanted to do something to help you relax. Lou agreed to see to that, so have fun on your special Wellness Day. I want to see the light in your eyes again, it hurts to see you so heartbroken and sad over something I don’t know about. Please smile again and be happy. I’m always thinking of you._

_Love,_

_Your Secret Admirer_

 

He read the lines again and again. A warm feeling fluttered in his stomach and Louis asked himself, if Harry could really be the person who sent him all of this. But why would he do that and not just tell him how he felt? Anyway, he would not think about that anymore. He would enjoy the day and try to relax – like his admirer had intended.

“Well, come on in!”

Louis smiled widely at Lou and threw the door wide. Lux grabbed his sleeve, so he took the little one from Lou and played with her a little. Lou set up her things and then coughed.

“As nice as it is to watch you two... It’s time to get started. Shower first, Louis. Off you go.”

She shooed him into the bathroom and Louis went willingly. A nice hot shower was a good idea anyway, he probably smelled pretty bad by now. His mood had lifted considerably; the talk to his mother had really done the trick. Louis vowed to himself that he would make a real effort to be nice to Harry today and just enjoy his presence instead of wallowing in dark thoughts.

He donned a bathrobe and boxer shorts when he was finished and went back to the living room, where Lou told him to lay down on the couch, so they could use it as an impromptu massaging table. Louis was delighted and did as he was told.

“You really are tense, he was right...”

When he heard the murmured sentence Louis tensed up even more and swallowed.

“Who’s he?”

Lou laughed and clucked her tongue.

“Wouldn’t you like to know...”

Of course she wouldn’t tell him. It didn’t surprise Louis, but he didn’t like it.

“Yes, I would. At least give me a hint!”

He knew he probably sounded like a petulant child, but he really hated being kept in the dark.

“Fine. Let’s see... You know him.”

Louis rolled his eyes and scoffed.

“I know a lot of people.”

Lou laughed again and slapped him on the shoulder playfully.

“Yeah, well... That’s all I’m gonna say, though I would have figured you knew.”

He felt kind of stupid after that remark, but didn’t say anything more. The massage nearly lulled him back to sleep again, but sadly Lou stopped before he could really drift off.

“Okay, put your robe on again and sit in that armchair.”

She quickly got to work on his nails and gave him a pedicure and manicure. Louis liked some pampering now and then, so he thoroughly enjoyed her attentions. Just when she had finished with his fingernails the door opened and Harry came in.

Louis couldn’t help but tense up again, but he tried to just breathe and smiled at Harry.

“Hey, Haz! Welcome home!”

Harry seemed to be pretty dumbstruck, but he smiled back and came over to them.

“Hey Boo, Lou. What’s she doing here?”

Louis studied him closely, but he really didn’t seem to know why Lou was here. So he wasn’t the secret benefactor, since Harry couldn’t act for shit. It saddened him, but Louis remembered his resolution.

“My secret admirer arranged a pampering date for me.”

His friend sat down on the arm of Louis’ chair and grinned.

“I see... So you’ve had a good day so far?”

Louis nudged him in the side and leaned against Harry a little, breathing in his familiar scent.

“Yeah... What about you?”

Louis hoped his question didn’t convey what he really wanted to know. Where had Harry been? He’d obviously spent the night elsewhere again.

“Not bad. Been at Rita’s again and helped her to find a present for her new boy. I swear, women are crazy...”

Lou snorted and hit him on the arm, but Harry just stuck his tongue out at her and got up.

“The only sane one is this little lady here.”

He cooed at Lux and picked her up from the floor. Louis smiled at that. They all loved Lux dearly and seeing Harry like this was just adorable.

“You’re staring.”

Louis nearly choked on air and coughed like crazy. Lou patted his back and chuckled lowly.

“Easy there. I won’t say a thing, no worries.”

Was he really that transparent to everyone? Niall had given him a knowing look, too. God, he was being really paranoid.

“Thanks...”

Lou hugged him quickly and winked.

“Oh, Boo. Liam and Niall are coming over later, to take us shopping. Sadly they wouldn’t take no for an answer, so we have to go.”

Shopping wasn’t really his favourite pastime, but Louis was actually glad he had a reason to get out of the house. And he also still needed a present for Harry. So far everything had seemed either inadequate or too much. It really wasn’t easy.

“Sure thing, not a problem. Why isn’t Zayn coming?”

Harry shrugged and fixed his hair, sitting down with Lux to play with her toys.

“No clue, they didn’t say.”

Lou took out her scissors and got to work on Louis’ hair, so he was momentarily distracted. When he had told her what exactly he wanted, he remembered he had been in a conversation with Harry.

“Sorry. I’m looking forward to it though.”

He beamed at Harry and winked. His friend seemed even more taken aback and shook his head. It probably was odd how his mood had done a one-eighty in just a day, Louis couldn’t deny that. But he was trying after all. For both Harry’s and his own sake.


	9. Day 04: Liam

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, it's been a while. I won't bore you with any excuses this time. Just want to thank everyone for the kudos and comments. I don't know if I said it yet, but I will definitely finish this story - hopefully before Christmas ;) Also... this chapter is fluffy Ziam, just to warn you.
> 
> xx Maren

“Okay, you take Louis and I get Harry, understood?”

Liam nodded and followed Niall down the hall to the Stylinson flat. They had agreed to take the lads shopping separately so they could maybe stir them in the right direction without being too obvious about it. Zayn had apologized to them for not coming too, but Liam was still kind of sad that his friend wasn’t around. In a way he was just as bad as Harry and Louis, since he kept certain feelings to himself, too.

“Liam?”

Niall waved a hand in front of his face and sighed impatiently. Liam tried to placate him with an apologetic grin, which just earned him a snort. They were in front of the door now and Niall rang the bell. It took a while, but then they were finally let in.

“Well... Hello on this fine evening, my friends.”

Harry raised an eyebrow at Niall’s enthusiastic greeting and Louis questioningly looked at him, but Liam just shrugged.

“Don’t look at me like that; I’m neither his babysitter, nor his mother.”

He ducked just in time and Niall hit the door instead of his head, cursing colourfully. Liam hid behind Louis and nodded in Harry’s direction. Thankfully Niall understood and focused on their friend.

“So, you ready to go?”

He looked Harry up and down, who nodded. So he grabbed his arm and they were off. Liam shook his head and looked at Louis, who stared at the door incredulously.

“I thought we were like... going together?”

Liam smiled apologetically and shrugged his shoulders.

“Not exactly. We thought it best to go in pairs and actually get some shopping done.”

Louis seemed a little disappointed at first, but perked up almost immediately. Of course he couldn’t fool Liam, since he had seen Mr. Almost-Drama-Teacher do his work numerous times.

“Great, I still need to get a present for Harry.”

Well, well... So this could get interesting after all it seemed. A prime opportunity to talk about Harry at length and maybe get Louis to admit his feelings towards their curly-haired friend.

“Any idea what you want to get him, yet?”

Louis sighed and shook his head. He didn’t look happy about it, so Liam hugged him tightly.

“We’ll find something, don’t worry. Something really special that he will like.”

Louis smiled a little and leaned against him for a moment, murmuring a quiet “Sure”.

“Let’s go then, yeah?”

Liam held the door open for Louis and they left. Niall and him had even planned where they would take the two of them, so they wouldn’t cross paths. It was a little over the top, but Liam had just agreed, not really in the mood for a long discussion with his Irish friend. Zayn was still on his mind and it was hard to focus on Louis for long periods of time, let alone on other things.

“Are you alright, Li?”

His thoughts had just drifted off again, so of course Louis would notice. Damn.

“Yeah, sure. Just thinking, you know?”

Louis bit his lip, but nodded finally. He was still looking at Liam a little suspiciously, but seemed to let it go.

“If you say so... But you can talk to me if something is wrong, yeah? I hope you know that.”

Great. He was the one who was supposed to help Louis and now he didn’t even have his own emotions under control. Just fabulous.

“Yes, of course. Thank you.”

They drove in silence and got out of the car near a street lined with small shops. All of them were decorated and brightly lit. It was already dark outside even this early in the evening. The sky was full of clouds and it seemed like it would snow any day now. Liam was looking forward to that, he was really tired of all the rain.

Louis huddled into his jacket and rubbed his hands, not saying anything, but Liam could tell he was impatient. He didn’t mind the cold that much, rather enjoyed the crisp air. For Louis sake though, he began walking in the direction of the first shop so his icicle of a friend could warm up inside.

“Come on, let’s go in there, yeah?”

Louis nodded and followed him without a word. It was a small shop with various trinkets, Christmas themed and others. Liam looked around a bit and tried to find something he could buy for Zayn. So far nothing had seemed right and he constantly worried about going overboard or it being not enough. From the corner of his eye he saw Louis making his way farther into the shop and smiled to himself. They really were quite similar.

There were a lot of superhero themed things in the shop and Liam ended up buying quite a lot of those. He didn’t know if he would give any of those to Zayn for Christmas yet, but it was a start, right? As quietly as he could he made his way over to where his friend stood. Louis had a wistful expression on his face and seemed to be in his own world. Liam followed his gaze and smiled sadly. There was a display of snow globes in front of them and the one Louis was looking at had two little figures that were holding hands and stood on a patch of snow. Quite ordinary, but the figures looked eerily similar to him and Harry.

“You really do love him a lot, don’t you?”

Liam had already whispered the words before he could stop himself and regretted it immediately when Louis cringed and looked at him with wide eyes. He didn’t know what else to do, so he hugged his friend tightly and after a moment Louis’ tense form relaxed in his arms. His breathing was shaky and he heavily leaned against Liam, who just held him. Luckily the shop was empty apart from the cashier who didn’t pay them any attention anyway.

“I’m sorry, that was uncalled for. It’s none of my business... But I want you to know that I wouldn’t think differently of you if it was the case.”

He quietly whispered the words and Louis’ arms around him tightened. They didn’t move for a long moment, then Louis ended their embrace and stepped back hesitantly. He wouldn’t look at Liam and his hands trembled slightly when Louis fixed his hair.

“Let’s go to the next shop, yeah?”

The words were almost inaudible and Liam hummed in agreement. The wind outside had picked up and it seemed like temperature had dropped even more. They entered a shop for jewellery and Liam wondered if Louis would find something here – wondered if he would be brave enough to get Harry a present that really meant something. He looked at a thing or two himself, but he definitely wouldn’t get Zayn something like that.

Liam’s mobile vibrated in his pocket and he sighed a little when it was just a message from Niall. Not that he had expected anything from Zayn, but still...

_How’s it going? Bullied H into making Tommo’s present tomorrow one for all of us. Gonna be great! What you up to?_

He shook his head and couldn’t suppress a grin. Typically Niall. Liam wondered what that present would be, but he was sure he would know soon enough. For a moment he pondered his reply and then typed something out.

_Dont b mean to H! Tommo sad n tryin to find presnt for H, not a good idae to bothr him atm._

It didn’t take long to receive an answer from Niall and Liam snorted when he read the first sentence. His heart beat a little faster when he read the rest and the evening just got a whole lot better.

_Your spelling is atrocious as usual, Li. Really gotta learn how to write, ya? Anyway... Louis should man up already, but fine. H invited us for tea and cookies later. Zayn is coming too. You in?_

Of course he was in, but he shouldn’t seem too eager.

_Whatevr. Maybe, wil think abuot it. Gota look afta Tommo now, bye._

He put his phone away and went in search of Louis. His friend was looking at some necklaces and seemed to be deep in thought yet again, but when Liam stepped up to him Louis turned around and sighed.

“Can we go home? I don’t really feel like doing Christmas shopping anymore.”

Liam was surprised and didn’t really know what to say, but Louis seemed so sad again that ne nodded. His friend smiled at him, but it was barely there and gone as fast as it had come.

“Thanks, Li...”

They walked back to the car in silence and didn’t talk on the way back either. Niall and Harry probably wouldn’t be there yet, so Liam vowed to try and talk to Louis again. Otherwise he would probably just hide in his room again. 

Surprisingly Harry’s car was already back in the parking lot, so they wouldn’t have time for talking. Liam sighed and thought about letting Niall know they were back but decided against it. The others would see soon enough. Apparently Louis hadn’t noticed the other car yet. Liam followed him to his and Harry’s flat and if he was wondering why, Louis didn’t say anything. He unlocked the door and was nearly barrelled to the floor by an overenthusiastic Irishman.

“You’re back already, how come?”

Liam shrugged and made a motion towards Louis who stood next to them, but only had eyes for Harry on the other end of the room. The curly-haired boy looked up and smiled brightly at his best friend, coming over to hug Louis. Liam felt like an intruder into their privacy, but Niall grinned from ear to ear, enjoying their display of affection. He was about to open his mouth to make a – probably stupid – remark, when Zayn entered the flat and stood next to Liam in the open doorway.

“Vas happenin’?”

He couldn’t suppress a snort. Zayn rarely used that saying anymore and somehow it cracked Liam up when he did. They others looked at them and even Louis’ sad face transformed immediately. Did he have something on his face? Niall was laughing out loud now and when Liam looked at Zayn his friend seemed to be as oblivious to what was going on as he himself was. Harry finally pointed above them and Liam groaned when he saw what was over their heads. Mistletoe. Goddamn mistletoe.

“Well... What are you two waiting for, eh? Kiss already.”

Of course Niall couldn’t keep his trap shut at an opportunity like that, of fucking course. Liam knew his face was red and he coughed nervously, not looking at Zayn. It was silent for a moment, then a hand was at his cheek and gently turned his face up so he had to look at Zayn. Liam’s breath caught in his throat because Zayn had never before looked at him like that. He lightly caressed his cheek with a thumb and leaned in slowly.

“Relax, Li. It’s just me...”

The words were barely audible and the others probably didn’t hear them, which was just as well. Liam swallowed and then threw all caution through the window and leaned in, too. Just before their lips touched he closed his eyes and prepared himself for what was to come. He could feel Zayn’s hot breath on his cheek and then they were kissing. Slowly and carefully, but it felt so good that he never wanted it to end. Zayn deepened the kiss a little and Liam’s hands found their way into his hair, needing something to hold onto. When the need for air became too great they finally separated and Liam looked at Zayn in wonder, who smiled brightly.

“Wow...”

It was Louis who uttered the word and Liam smiled to himself. It didn’t mean a thing, but maybe it would encourage Louis to get what he wanted. Niall wolf-whistled and Liam felt really embarrassed all of a sudden. He needed to get away, even if it was just for a moment.

“Well, yeah... I... I need to... bathroom, yeah.”

So he fled the scene and walked to the bathroom as fast as he could, but before he was able to close the door someone pushed him away and slipped into the room. Of course it was Zayn – who else. The very person he really didn’t want to see right now.

“Li, I think we need to talk.”

Did they? It was just a kiss, nothing more, nothing less. At least to Zayn, probably. For Liam it had been heaven on earth, the thing he had longed for the most since he had met Zayn. He didn’t say anything and the silence between them was really uncomfortable. Zayn sighed deeply and paced around the room. Finally he stopped a step away from Liam.

“Why won’t you even look at me? Was it that horrible?”

Liam’s gaze flew up to Zayn immediately and he couldn’t stop the “No!” that left his mouth, staring like a deer caught in the headlights. He backed away but didn’t get far, because the tiled wall was right behind him. Zayn followed his movement and grabbed Liam’s arms when he tried to duck away. He pinned him to the wall with his whole body and just kissed him. Liam gasped in surprise, but returned the kiss hungrily once his brain had caught up with what was happening.

Zayn hugged him tightly and buried his face into Liam’s neck when they had to part for air. He chuckled lowly and sighed. Liam didn’t know what to say, so he waited for Zayn to speak again.

“I’m glad I didn’t misinterpret anything then. God Li, I’ve wanted to do this for so long...”

They looked at each other and again Liam spoke before he could stop himself. But he didn’t regret it this time, because he needed to tell Zayn how he really felt.

“I’m in love with you...”

Zayn stared at him wide-eyed and then his lips were on Liam’s again. Just for a moment though, then he trailed small kisses over his cheeks, nose and forehead. With a sigh Liam closed his eyes and savoured the small touches.

“Me too, me too... I thought I’d never hear you say those words and then you just... You’re unbelievable.”

He opened his eyes again and smiled at Zayn who looked at him in amazement. Liam softly caressed his cheeks and kissed Zayn again, totally lost in the moment.


End file.
